Hi guys!!! This blog post is a Rabby-exclusive (yay!) on submission, and all that it entails as a young lady in a relationship… You know the deal: Alan’s contributions will be written in bold and Rabby's will be written in italics.
Enjoy!
The most popular verse in scripture that speaks to submission is:
Ephesians 5:22. “For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” (NLT).
When we originally wrote this post, I was not wife, but we were applying some Kingdom principles in our relationship - and those are relevant to anyone, whether married, courting, or single.
From what I’ve learnt in my relationship with God, submission comes easily once you love Him. In the Old Testament, we see God’s chosen people, the Israelites, living in cycles. They would confess that they love God and vow to submit to Him, then they would take matters into their own hands, get reprimanded for that or defeated in war and go back to God, asking for forgiveness and vowing submission. I have come to understand that inasmuch as the Israelites were stubborn, their hearts were not conditioned to love God enough to maintain a perpetual posture of submission to Him.
There are countless scriptural references and passages that speak about the need to “humble oneself before God, and submit to Him” (Job 22:21-30). We also have countless songs of worship that speak about submitting to God, a great example is William McDowell’s 'I surrender all to you'. With all these examples, we see that the concept of submission is not very far-fetched.
I have come to understand that the purpose of a man and woman walking together is to reflect the ideal love relationship between Christ and the Church. I used the word ‘ideal’ here, because the Church has not been living up to expectation (though she has tried,) since the Old Testament days. Inferring from the analogy Paul makes in the 5th chapter of the book of Ephesians, there is a standard to look up to in relating with your partner. I think it is summarized in
Ephesians 5: 21: “… Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ…”
With this in mind, it is obvious that anything I do in an attempt to “submit” to Barry is not for Barry's sake, but for God. Especially since we have been conscious about submitting our lives and this relationship to God. I mean, one can’t truly worship God with only one aspect of their lives – it has to be the whole package.
Many times, I have found that I just can’t stand/accept Barry's mindset or decision about an issue. Of course, when that happens, I argue till it is obvious I’m making no headway (Barry is very headstrong, on certain issues – as am I on almost all issues). It is usually at this point where I realise I should just let it go and commit it to prayer, because truly, Barry is a man that submits to God’s authority(It is very necessary, imagine a wife who has to submit to a husband who doesn’t revere God – is that one too a Husband?). Until we were married, he had no authority over me. Now that we are married, he is the head of our family, and as such, has that authority over me. [A couple who are unmarried and courting do not share the same chain of authority - an unmarried man and a woman are both directly under the authority of God.]
Usually, either God touches Barry's heart and changes his mind, or God touches my heart and changes my perception of the situation. Disclaimer: This is not the ideal process of handling things – the prayer should be first and the arguing should not exist. But well - like I said, we do not live in an ideal world.
I anticipate that in the future, being a submissive wife will mean the same as being a respectful wife. I have no prior knowledge or experience in that field, so I wouldn’t know. However, I know that as a member of the body of Christ, it is essential to love my neighbours, (everyone around me) and accord them the utmost respect; more so, the person I am journeying with, in hopes to reach the covenant of marriage. [This is married Rabby inputting some additional text: unmarried Rabby was right! lol]
With this mindset, I have realised that bending the knee to my King and father makes it much easier to respect and love and “submit” to Barry. We submit to one another and walk in faith, hope, and love. It is not always easy, but it is possible and necessary.
I mean, look what Israel went through after refusing to submit to God. I don’t know about you, but I’m not about to roam in clueless circles in the wilderness of my life for forty years!
See you on the next post!
[Originally published on 2nd September 2017]