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Question of the day is: “Are you in a love triangle?!?”
Before I started a relationship with Barry, I like to think I was in a love relationship with God. It was a very wishy-washy unbalanced love relationship – I can assure you of that, but it was a love relationship anyway! As the years have gone by, I have gotten to know more about and love Him even more, so that’s a great thing. I wonder how the turn of events would be, if people (women, specifically) don’t see their single years as single years at all. I mean, what if as single ladies, we considered ourselves in a steady relationship with God? By ‘steady relationship’, I mean – taking time off your day just to catch up, rant, pour out frustrations, laugh, etc with God. You could write love letters, journal entries/prayers, or you could even spice things up by actually dressing up and having a date with God. That’s just food for thought – let’s get back to this blog post’s main idea: ‘Love Triangles’
I’m sure we don’t need to explain what they are, but for the sake of formality, here’s the general definition we found online:
A love triangle (also called a romantic love triangle or a romance triangle or an eternal triangle) is usually a romantic relationship involving three or more people. While it can refer to two people independently romantically linked with a third, it usually implies that each of the three people has some kind of relationship to the other two.
What most of us don’t realize is, a lot of us are in love triangles unknowingly. Let me go ahead and be creative with some examples:
1. You, your person & Social Media
2. You, your person & your past
3. You, your person & your best friend
4. You, your person & their Ex
5. You, your person & drama
As you can see, the list could be endless if I tried to be more creative. We will be glad if most of you reading this blog post cannot relate with any of these love triangles mentioned above, because they can all be toxic to the growth of a friendship.
But here’s a love triangle we have been involved in, that really works:
In retrospect, when we started our relationship, we started a love triangle of our own! My love relationship with God was still growing steadily when I met and started a friendship with Barry. Let me give an example of how legit our love triangle was: there was a time where I was getting jealous (let’s call it righteous envy LOL!) of Barry’s relationship with God, because theirs was really lit and mine was suffering. That season brought a lesson to be discussed on another day.
You realize that with this love triangle, each person has a unique relationship with the two other people. As you see in the picture, the base of the triangle represents the relationship between Rabby and I, and the sides represent our individual relationships with God. During one of our counseling sessions, we were shown this analogy: if the man in the triangle moved closer to God, and the woman stayed at the base of the triangle, the distance between the man and the woman would have increased. However, if the man and woman were to move toward God, they will be getting closer to each other. I don’t know about you, but that’s a very healthy love triangle!
You’ll realize that love, being personified in God, can only become more real to you when you know God more. Learning about God helps you learn more about love, because He is love; about yourself, because He created you; and about your person, because He created your person too!
Before you enter into a relationship, it is always important to establish a personal relationship with God. That always begins with a desire - having a desire is important. Especially if you want to have a Christ-centered relationship that will blossom into a Christ-centered marriage. I repeat, this does not apply to those who are just living for fun and are not focused on a purpose driven friendship. The other person you hope to have a relationship with, should also have a relationship with God – or at least, should have a desire to know God or grow with God. I say this because for two people to successfully grow a friendship, they need to be agreed on some basic life issues; “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?”(Amos 3:3 NLT) We are not expecting you all to be the perfect image of Christ, no. But it is important that the interest or the desire to know and love God is there.
Once this is there, both of you will come together with the aim of pleasing God or accomplishing the mandate that He has placed in your care. It is in your relationship with God that you will understand the principle of submission – how to love, how to forgive, how to be accountable, etc. It is through this that you will learn what the bible says about how to look after each other, raising children, everything! It all goes back to your relationship with God.
In conclusion, if you are not in a love triangle that’s great! It means you are in a season where you can work on the only existing love relationship that matters most – your relationship with God. Trust me, once a third variable comes into the equation, you’ll have to be on good grounds in your love relationship with God in order to balance the two; “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT
We hope this post blessed you! You can get interactive with us on our social media pages, @barryandrabby. See you soon!