Hi Everyone!!!
Another month’s 1st is here, and this post has been a long time coming. As usual, Ewurabena’s contributions will be written in Italics and mine will be in bold. Read the previous post here!
Today’s post will be focused on how we have struggled with and gotten through sexual sin/ sexual immorality. This series was initially meant to be ‘An insider into the realities, miracles, shockers, struggles and blessings of a Christ-Centered relationship’.In one of our earlier posts, we spoke about how our relationship started and we referred to it as getting ‘emotionally attached’ – here’s a little more about that.
So, I’ll start with explaining the kind of mindset Barry and I came into this relationship with. A wise friend once told me: no two relationships are the same. The relationship I would have with Kofi will be a completely different relationship, even though I’m the same person.Following that, the foundations and structures that our relationship is formed on, will differ from the next person’s. The kind of structure that Barry and I set for ourselves, was a relationship that was God-centered and glorified God in every way possible – that called for a standard of all-round purity. At that time, this was a real struggle, mehhn…. To make matters worse, we were on the Berekuso hill – the weather over there is not favourable at all, oo… At all oo, sister! Hmm…
For about a year and a half in our relationship, we struggled with sexual immorality… With our standards of sexual immorality, we’re referring to kissing, fondling or sexual arousal. It was hard. I remember one night after we had fallen, I went to a hill on the Ashesi compound and wept, asking God to strengthen us so it does not happen again. Unfortunately, It didn’t stop. We would have a clean streak for two months and suddenly fall. Then, we will struggle with guilt and the burden of the sin we had committed, for even longer than we had been on the clean streak.
I don’t remember when, but Barry had this epiphany on guilt that taught me a lot. Here it is: I learnt it from my father, and It stuck with me till today. He said that the moment I sin against God or myself, I should rush back to Him instantly to ask for forgiveness, so the enemy doesn’t use it to accuse me. Key thing to note, there is healing in admitting wrong and running back to God to forgive – It’s a sign of humility. Guilt is the enemy’s way of wasting our time and keeping us in sloth. (I use sloth to describe not doing what God has directed us to do) When you wallow in guilt, you are telling yourself, “This sin I have committed can’t be forgiven by God and I deserve to suffer for it.” Christ came on earth to do all the suffering on our behalf. Sooo being in a state of guilt and wallowing in it is indirectly signifies your lack of appreciation of the sacrifice Jesus made for us. (Eish, so intense!) This may be quite harsh but when I got this understanding it changed my perspective about a lot of things. So that’s how we dealt with guilt… It is also a way of taking responsibility – identifying and repenting of the part you played in missing the standard. It’s not every day you blame the devil. Lol.
Soon after, we realized that we were tackling our struggles the wrong way. As is normal, we are physically attracted to each other. So, the temptation to act on this attraction is always there. We kept focusing on ways to keep ourselves from doing that and it was frustratingly futile. I can’t pinpoint when the turning point was, but by grace, the struggle though real, has become less of an issue. Maybe it was our eagerness to fear God, show Him reverence and acknowledge his sovereignty and His ability to keep us pure. What kept dragging us back was how we focused on how NOT to fall or make a mistake.
One thing is for certain – focusing on the wrong things will definitely lead to hopelessness because it is in our human nature to not be able to live up to the standard God has for us. But trusting God, staying focus on God is the way to go… because well, He will show you the way to go. Lol- good one, honey.
After this learning curve in our lives, we realized that God has equipped us with so much to tackle all weaknesses, (including temptation of sexual sin / struggles) We realized our situation was never going to change unless we allow the Holy Spirit to walk in and through us. I remember the night I had an encounter with the Holy Spirit. It gave me the opportunity to let Him be Him and grant us wisdom to flee.
Wisdom! That’s one thing we usually take for granted. Some situations are needless and we can steer clear of them in wisdom. Another thing we’ve also used to our advantage is God’s grace. His grace empowers us to be strong when our bodies are weak. Life is an endless struggle between the spirit and the flesh – but yielding your Spirit to God is strengthening your inner man and disarming your flesh.
Knowing that this is the path we have chosen, it is our responsibility to trust God in staying on the straight and narrow way. We made a promise to God to stay pure till we get married. Not to say that it has been easy but God has been our strength and our fortress and we are grateful. yasssssss
We realize this post only skims the surface, and we may not have had an extensive experience – please feel free to contribute in the form of questions AND additional comments. Yes, that will be great – and we appreciate your feedback too.
See you soon… same time, next month!!!
[Originally published on 1st May 2017]